


selfishly, endlessly

by tusslee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Grinding, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Tsukishima Kei-centric, Yamaguchi Tadashi's Freckles, thigh fucking?, tsukki is soft for 1 (one) boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tusslee/pseuds/tusslee
Summary: Tsukishima comes to understand what the feelings are as they unfurl, he’s smart after all, and though he lacks experience in love, he knows what it is. He knows when his chest feels swelled to bursting and his throat feels tight and his palms sweaty, that yes, he’s falling hopelessly in love with his best friend. And it feels inevitable. It feels like it was bound to happen whether he wanted it to or not. Loving Yamaguchi is as easy as breathing.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 305





	selfishly, endlessly

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It has been a real long time since I've written anything, let alone posted anything, so please forgive any stiffness or inaccuracies. I'm new to writing for this fandom and am out of practice with writing in general so bear with me as I relearn how to write well lol. 
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading :D

Tsukishima is selfish.

This is not news to him. He is selfish with his time and selfish with his food. He does not like to share, save for the one and the only exception: Yamaguchi. He will share with Yamaguchi because he has always shared with Yamaguchi, but he is still selfish. 

Tsukishima is smart, on and off the court. He prides himself in his knowledge, in his good grades, and his intelligence. He is quick to pick up on things and observant. He sees things rationally and calmly, never one to be too hasty, but he feels dumbstruck when Yamaguchi smiles at him. 

It’s not an earth-shattering realization or an epiphany he happens upon one day. It’s slow and wicked. It sneaks up on him until his thoughts almost always include the freckled boy in some way or another. He becomes accustomed to the time they spend together and his selfishness extends to this too. He does not like to share Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima comes to understand what the feelings are as they unfurl, he’s smart after all, and though he lacks experience in love, he knows what it is. He knows when his chest feels swelled to bursting and his throat feels tight and his palms sweaty, that yes, he’s falling hopelessly in love with his best friend. And it feels inevitable. It feels like it was bound to happen whether he wanted it to or not. 

Loving Yamaguchi is as easy as breathing. Tsukishima doesn’t especially like poetry, but he could wax poetically about Yamaguchi all day. He wonders when he became so soft and figures if it’s only for Yamaguchi, then it’s okay. 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi calls as he catches up to him after class. Tsukishima pulls his headphones down around his neck and glances over to him when he arrives at his side, only slightly out of breath. “How was class?” Yamaguchi asks. 

Tsukishima shrugs, “Just another day.” He says plainly. “How was your day?” He asks and actually wants to know. He’s about the only person whose day matters to Tsukishima. 

“It was good! A bit boring, but classes went by quick.” Yamaguchi says and Tsukishima can’t tear his eyes away from the cute little smile he wears as he admires the clouds in the sky. 

“Do you want to come over after practice?” Tsukishima asks, hopeful even though he knows Yamaguchi will say yes. He always does.

“Sure!” Yamaguchi agrees, nodding. Tsukishima’s hand itches to reach the small, small distance between them and lace their fingers together. He wonders what Yamaguchi would say or do if he did. At this point, he probably wouldn’t even question it, they’ve become so close, but there are lines friends don’t cross and Tsukishima wants so badly to run headlong over every one of them.

He is sweaty and warm, far too warm by the time practice is over. The sun is setting, but the heat doesn’t give. It’s humid and his clothes cling damply to his body as he drinks from his water bottle.

Yamaguchi slaps him playfully on the back and grins, “Nice work today.” He says and offers him a towel, rubbing one through his own hair. Tsukishima takes it and blots at his face and the back of his neck.

“You too.” He nods and Yamaguchi’s eyes sparkle at the praise. Tsukishima’s stomach does a flip.

“Awe, I worked up an appetite.” Yamaguchi whines as he rubs at his stomach, “Can we grab something on the way to your place, Tsukki?” He asks.

Tsukishima can’t say no even though he has plenty of food at his house. “Sure.” He says, “I can make a bigger dinner later if you want to grab something small for now.” He says and smiles faintly when Yamaguchi nods eagerly. They finish stretching and cleaning up then are on their way.

“This heat really won’t quit, huh?” Yamaguchi says as they walk. Tsukishima has cooled off a bit by now, but the humidity is still awful and though the sun is not beating down, the air is still thick with heat. 

“No, it’s gross.” Tsukishima complains. He doesn’t like the heat, not like this anyway. He can’t say he likes the snow too much either, though. Moderate temperatures are best, something comfortable. “I’m looking forward to a shower.”

“Oh shoot!” Yamaguchi exclaims, hefting his bag on his shoulder and unzipping it, making him walk funny and bump into Tsukishima. He steadies him as he searches the bag, “I don’t have any extra clothes.” He says after he finishes shuffling through his belongings.

Tsukishima shrugs, “You may have left some at my place. If not, I’ll loan you some.” He says, not minding in the least. Yamaguchi looks good in his clothes even if they are too big for him.

“Thanks, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi says brightly, bumping him again, this time on purpose. Tsukishima wants to reach for his hand. So he does.

It’s light enough to be accidental, he brushes their fingers together, their knuckles barely rubbing as their arms sway. He can’t tell if Yamaguchi notices, he gives nothing away that says he does, so he counts to twenty and does it again. He lingers a bit longer this time and glances at Yamaguchi from the corner of his eye. He sees his head turn, eyes darting to Tsukishima’s face. He quickly looks away and keeps their hands from touching again. “Sorry.” He murmurs.

“S’okay, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi says, voice softer now. Tsukishima glances at him again and sees the lightest blush dusting his cheeks. Interesting. 

He doesn’t push his luck anymore on their walk to the store. They’re in and out quick, both knowing what they want and they eat on the way to Tsukishima’s. 

Tsukishima’s house is dark and quiet. He unlocks his door and steps inside, toeing out of his shoes as he flips the lights on. “It’s quiet.” Yamaguchi says.

“My mom is out of town for the week.” Tsukishima explains.

Yamaguchi whistles, “This big house all to yourself. Does it get lonely, Tsukki?” 

“Why do you think I invited you over?” Tsukishima asks, bopping him lightly on the head. “C’mon. Let’s go drop our things.” 

It’s not unusual for Yamaguchi to stay over. They spent even more time together when they were younger. It tapered off a bit as they got older, but lately Tsukishima has been needy. He’s been asking Yamaguchi over about as often as he’ll allow himself and his willpower is slowly but surely fading. He leads them to his room and drops his bag at the foot of his bed, motioning for Yamaguchi to do the same as he moves to a drawer and hunts for clothes.

“Here,” Tsukishima says as he holds out a pair of Yamaguchi’s sweats, “must have left these here before. Seems about all you have here, though.” He says and grabs a pair of his own boxers and a t-shirt to give him. 

Yamaguchi takes them, “Thanks, this’ll work.” He says.

“Go ahead and go first, I’ll go see what I have to make for dinner.” Tsukishima says and follows him out of his room. Yamaguchi gives him a small smile as he heads for the bathroom and Tsukishima returns it then continues to the kitchen.

Well, they don’t have as much as he thought they did, but it’s enough for him to make something small for the two of them. He cooks and lets his thoughts wander. Of course, he has nothing good in mind. He’s well aware of Yamaguchi’s very naked body in the shower right now. He can hear the water running and it makes his mind whirl with images. A wet Yamaguchi is a very pleasant fantasy. He hums to himself, not bothering to correct his train of thought. 

Yamaguchi comes into the kitchen smelling like Tsukishima’s soap and it about sweeps Tsukishima off his feet. He inhales deeply, wanting to bury his nose in the crook of his neck and live there. “Hungry?” He asks.

“A bit, it smells good.” Yamaguchi says, coming to hover beside him.

“Ramen. Sorry we’ve got nothing fancier. Suppose I ought to go shopping.” Tsukishima says thoughtfully. 

Yamaguchi shakes his head, “Fine by me. I’m just happy to be fed.” He says and Tsukishima wants to take his face in his hands and kiss him silly. He sighs wistfully, ignoring the questioning look Yamaguchi sends him. 

Tsukishima finishes dinner and they eat together on the couch, watching TV idly. Tsukishima is still preoccupied, so he doesn’t retain much of what’s going on, which is fine. When he’s finished, Tsukishima takes their dishes then turns the TV off. “I’m going to shower, think you can keep yourself entertained?” He teases.

Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out at him and pops up beside him, following him back toward his room. “I’ll set the futon up, if that’s alright.” He says.

“Be my guest, you know where everything is at.” Tsukishima says and disappears into the bathroom. He lets the water run until it’s good and hot, steaming up the bathroom. It feels good on his sore muscles, but does nothing to quell the arousal he’s been fighting on and off all day. He considers touching himself, just getting it over with so he wouldn’t think about it later, but he knows he’ll still be thinking about it. He showers quickly, but thoroughly and turns the water until it’s ice cold, standing beneath the spray for as long as he can before he’s shivering. He steps out and towels off then wraps it around his waist. He’d forgotten to grab clothes, oops. It wasn’t really on purpose, but it wouldn’t hurt to see how Yamaguchi reacts. He’s just curious. 

Yamaguchi is sprawled on Tsukishima’s bed, the futon half made on the floor beside it. He has his nose in one of Tsukishima’s books, only pulling his attention away from it when Tsukishima begins shuffling through drawers for clothes. He can feel Yamaguchi’s eyes on him, it makes him feel hot all over.

Tsukishima has the sense to not just drop his towel in front of him, he turns and slips a pair of boxers on before completely letting the towel fall. He hears the softest gasp and turns his head to look at Yamaguchi who is once again buried in a book, hiding his face away. Tsukishima narrows his eyes. He finishes dressing and walks over, standing at the edge of his bed and hovering over Yamaguchi, who eventually drops the book and meets his eyes. 

“Scoot.” Tsukishima says rather than just kicking him out of his bed. They’re not going to sleep yet, it’s still somewhat early so he figures they can sit together. Yamaguchi moves until he propped against the wall, letting Tsukishima sit with his back against the headboard. Yamaguchi lifts his legs as Tsukishima stretches his out then relaxes them over top of his. 

Tsukishima grabs his phone from his nightstand and browses the internet, trying not to pay too much attention to the warm weight over his legs, but it’s difficult. He is hyperaware of their proximity and wants very badly to just pull Yamaguchi into his lap. He settles for letting his free hand fall to Yamaguchi’s knee. He feels him stiffen immediately beneath it and thinks the worst so he moves and rests it against his own stomach instead. 

Yamaguchi makes a noise in his throat so Tsukishima looks up at him. His brows are furrowed and he’s looking at Tsukishima’s hand. He grabs his hand and places it on his knee again, still staring at it until he seems to decide it’s fine. He meets Tsukishima’s eyes briefly, but quickly looks away. That blush is back on his cheeks, giving him away and giving Tsukishima all the answers he needs. He squeezes Yamaguchi’s knee, slides his hand up ever so slightly so he can grasp the muscle just above his kneecap and he squeezes again.

Yamaguchi shouts and falls into a fit of giggles, trying to swat Tsukishima’s hand away, but once started, he cannot be stopped. Tsukishima tickles him until Yamaguchi is breathless and teary-eyed, pleading with him to stop.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi screeches, voice high and whiney, “No!” his words are cut with giggles and Tsukishima can’t take him seriously. He eventually lets up after Yamaguchi has squirmed and begged enough. He smiles to himself and goes back to his phone, settling for resting his hand on Yamaguchi’s thigh. Yamaguchi doesn’t move it, just slowly catches his breath with a silly smile on his face. Tsukishima’s chest aches.

Yamaguchi eventually gives up on the book and settles for his phone as well, giggling every now and then and showing Tsukishima his screen. Tsukishima is becoming increasingly impatient, Yamaguchi’s thigh beneath his hand a daunting risk. He thinks it’ll be worth it, but there’s really no way to explain himself if things go wrong. Still, he figures he’ll never know if he doesn’t try.

Tsukishima squeezes Yamaguchi’s thigh, fingers purposefully wrapping around the entire top of the muscle and dragging his soft sweats against his skin. He hears the breath leave Yamaguchi’s lungs in a rush, watches the color paint his cheeks again as he releases his hold on him and does it again. Yamaguchi’s eyes find his, they’re wide and questioning, but there’s not a hint of disgust or anger on his face.

Tsukishima sets his phone down and stares at him as he slides his palm up further, watching as Yamaguchi’s mouth falls open. “Tsukki..” He breathes.

“Tell me to stop, I will.” Tsukishima promises, pausing in his movement as he searches Yamaguchi’s eyes.

Yamaguchi’s eyelids flutter and he shakes his head, “Don’t stop.” He says softly and it’s like music to Tsukishima’s ears. He moves, sitting up and pulling Yamaguchi into him until he has him in his arms, in his lap. He takes his face between his hands, softly, gently, and runs a thumb across his bottom lip.

“I have thought about this a million times.” Tsukishima tells him, finally.

“Really?” Yamaguchi asks, incredulously. His breath is warm against Tsukishima’s thumb.

Tsukishima nods, “I think about you endlessly. I’ve wanted this for ages, but never wanted to do something that would hurt our friendship.” He explains.

“So that was on purpose earlier?” Yamaguchi asks, “When you bumped our hands together the first time I thought it was an accident, but the second, I wasn’t sure.”

“I was just curious. Testing the waters, I guess.” Tsukishima says, thumbs moving to brush against soft cheeks. He loves Yamaguchi’s freckles, wouldn’t mind spending hours or days counting them all. “You are so beautiful.” 

Yamaguchi’s blush darkens and Tsukishima smiles. “S-so are you.” Yamaguchi says, eyes darting between Tsukishima’s.

Tsukishima leans in, feels Yamaguchi’s breath against his lips, and then kisses him. It’s soft and sweet, chaste until he tilts his head and opens his mouth, letting his tongue slide along Yamaguchi’s bottom lip. Yamaguchi makes a noise between a hum and a moan and Tsukishima feels his hands toy with the hem of his shirt. He wants to kiss him until he can’t breathe, wants to touch him until he sees stars. 

“Tadashi..” Tsukishima says when he pulls away from the kiss, eyes lidded. Yamaguchi stares wide-eyed at him, “Let me make you feel good.” Yamaguchi sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and catches it with his teeth. He nods and Tsukishima is on him, rolling him over and pinning him to the bed. Yamaguchi is pliant and breathless as he stares up at him. “Beautiful.” Tsukishima says again. He is completely captivated and wholly fucked.

Tsukishima rucks Yamaguchi’s shirt up, tugging until he moves and lets him pull it off over his head. Yamaguchi is covered in freckles. Tsukishima would like to kiss every one of them, but he doesn’t have the patience tonight. Still, he leans down and presses his lips to his collarbone, tongue laving and teeth dragging across sensitive skin. Yamaguchi hisses with pleasure and squirms under him. He’s hardly touched him and he’s already so sensitive.

Tsukishima continues kissing down his body to his navel and stops at his hips, letting his thumbs trace prominent hip bones as he nuzzles against the sparse bit of hair trailing down under the waistband of his sweats. Yamaguchi is squirming again and Tsukishima can see the outline of his cock straining against loose fabric. He feels elated. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop or if you don’t like something.” Tsukishima says, looking up at him and waiting until Yamaguchi nods to continue. He hooks his fingers in his waistband and drags both his sweats and boxers down his legs. Yamaguchi shifts, helping him get them all the way off and then Tsukishima lies between his legs, face inches from his cock.

Yamaguchi watches him, trembling and wanting, but nervous too. He trust Tsukishima, this is his best friend, but it’s strange letting someone be so close and so intimate. 

Tsukishima wraps delicate fingers around the base of his cock and leans in, pressing his lips to the head and flicking his tongue over the slit. Yamaguchi mewls, back arching and hands fisting in the sheets under him. Tsukishima thinks it’s fair to say no one has done this to him before. He takes it slowly and eases him into his mouth, making sure not to catch him with his teeth as he goes. His tongue swirls on the underside, tracing veins as he bobs his head slowly, setting a lazy pace as he sucks. Yamaguchi moans and writhes, torn between squeezing his eyes shut and watching intently. Tsukishima doesn’t mind, he just likes how vocal and responsive he is.

He’s not at it for very long before Yamaguchi has a hand in his hair and is pulling, “Tsukki..!” he gasps, “don’t, I’m close.”

Tsukishima pulls off, “You don’t want to come?” He asks.

Yamaguchi reaches for him, tugs on his shirt until Tsukishima crawls up his body and hovers over him. He watches as Yamaguchi chews on his bottom lip, his cheeks are red and his bangs are sticking slightly to his forehead. His pupils are blown wide and he’s still trying to catch his breath. He tugs on Tsukishima’s shirt, easing it up until he takes the hint and lets him pull it off. “These too.” Yamaguchi insists, trying to push Tsukishima’s sweats down his hips. 

Tsukishima moves to drop his pants and underwear then crawls back over Yamaguchi, not settling too much of his weight on top of him, but enough that he can feel their cocks rub together. Yamaguchi’s eyelids flutter and his hips rock up against Tsukishima’s. The drag against skin is nice, he can feel the wet trail of precum in the crease of his leg. 

“Hold on.” Tsukishima says and reaches for the drawer in his nightstand. He grabs a bottle of lube and sits back. He pours some into his hand and strokes himself a couple of times, coating his cock in it then doing the same to Yamaguchi’s. He watches his face as he jacks him smoothly, rubbing his thumb over the tip like he likes and Yamaguchi seems to like it too. He stops and grabs his hips, “Roll over, but keep your legs together.” He instructs, lifting Yamaguchi’s ass into the air once he’s on his stomach. “Hands and knees.” He says and Yamaguchi does so, looking back over his shoulder at him. “Trust me, I’m not doing _that_ yet.” He says and pours more lube into his hand then slicks the inside of Yamaguchi’s thighs. “Press your thighs together tight.” He says and moves behind him, slowly easing his cock between his thighs. “Maybe not that tight.” He laughs and feels Yamaguchi relax slightly.

Tsukishima rocks forward, the slide wet and hot. He thrusts a couple times to get used to the movement then sets a pace he likes and grunts. “Fuck, Tadashi..” he moans.

Yamaguchi can feel Tsukishima’s cock rub wetly against his balls and the underside of his own cock. It’s different, the feeling of the action alone has him throbbing and breathless, but once Tsukishima wraps an arm around his waist and catches his cock in hand, he loses it. “Tsukki..!” He moans and buries his face in the pillow beneath him. 

“Don’t,” Tsukishima says, “wanna hear every sound you make.” 

Yamaguchi’s face feels like it’s on fire. His body is trembling and his thighs quiver. The knot of pleasure in his gut winds tighter with every thrust and every stroke of Tsukishima’s hand. He feels Tsukishima’s wet mouth on his shoulder and the back of his neck, kissing and licking and nipping. The sensations are overwhelming. He’s already been so close for so long that it doesn’t take much to send him over the edge. He comes hard, waves of pleasure rocking him to his core as he paints the sheets beneath him and coats Tsukishima’s hand. “Keeeiii..!” He moans, long and drawn out. He feels Tsukishima stutter behind him.

Tsukishima follows closely, his own orgasm hitting him like a ton of bricks. He inhales sharply and grips Yamaguchi’s hip hard enough to bruise as he comes between his thighs, “Tadashi..!” he gasps. He works himself through it until he’s catching his breath and he pulls away, spent. He ignores the mess and flops down beside Yamaguchi, pulling him into his arms. He finds his lips and kisses him deeply, holding him tight and pouring every feeling he’s ever had for him into the kiss. “I’m so in love with you.” He tells him.

Yamaguchi smiles sleepily and curls into him, “I’m in love with you too. Have been for a while. I’m surprised it took this long.”

Tsukishima laughs. He should have known. “Well, we’re here now.” He says. Yamaguchi hums in agreement and throws a leg over Tsukishima’s. “I want to kiss every freckle on your body.” He tells him.

“That sounds tempting, but not tonight.” Yamaguchi says, grinning at him.

Tsukishima purses his lips and nods, he supposes that’s alright. “One day I will.”

“Whatever you want, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi says and means it.

“You. Forever.” Tsukishima demands, nuzzling his nose in Yamaguchi’s hair. It smells like his shampoo, but something distinctly Yamaguchi, too. 

Yamaguchi giggles and buries his face in Tsukishima’s neck, kissing him softly. “Sure, I think that’d be alright.” He agrees.

Tsukishima is selfish. He wants more and more and more, but he wants to give, too. He wants to give anything and everything to Yamaguchi. He’d find a way to give him the sun and stars if he so asked. He loves him endlessly and finally tells him so.


End file.
